"These are forms of male aggression that only women see. But even when men are afforded a front seat to harassment, they don’t always have the correct vantage point for recognizing the subtlety of its operation. Four years before the murders, I was sitting in a bar in Washington, D.C. with a male friend. Another young woman was alone at the bar when an older man scooted next to her. He was aggressive, wasted, and sitting too close, but she smiled curtly at his ramblings and laughed softly at his jokes as she patiently downed her drink. ‘Why is she humoring him?’ my friend asked me. ‘You would never do that.’ I was too embarrassed to say: ‘Because he looks scary’ and ‘I do it all the time.’
Women who have experienced this can recognize that placating these men is a rational choice, a form of self-defense to protect against setting off an aggressor. But to male bystanders, it often looks like a warm welcome, and that helps to shift blame in the public eye from the harasser and onto his target, who’s failed to respond with the type of masculine bravado that men more easily recognize."
deciding i was pretty was the best thing that i ever did
one day i was just like
fuck this im pretty
and i was
i’m reblogging this twice because this is probably the truest statement I’ve ever come across. And it holds power and ability for every person struggling within themselves. use this because it will make a difference in your life.
Makeup's Dirty Little Secret: Covering the Scars of Abuse →
Two days before CoverGirl, the NFL’s “official beauty partner,” was forced to respond to the league’s handling of the Ray Rice case, I helped three girls on the internet find concealer to cover up their bruises and self-harm scars. I often write about beauty and makeup, and sometimes women will email me and ask me in private how to help. I usually send them a list of concealers and resources every time—resources that I know work because I’ve used them before. There’s been some discussion about the complexities of the beauty industry’s relationship to abuse, especially on Jezebel, and much of it is linked to CoverGirl. But not much of it focuses on the complexities of shame and visibility speaking from the side of the abused.
I’m writing for jezebelcom now, and my first post is on the relationship between the beauty industry and domestic violence.
It’s been about a week or something since I wrote this and I’m still getting stories from survivors in my inbox, which I guess makes me feel less alone but mostly triggers me and makes me too sad to work sometimes. Thanks for reading though.
Steal His Look: Bob Belcher
Versace apron - $635
Fendi mustache - $98
Louis Vuitton shirt - $7,245
Giorgio Armani suede shoes - $369
Calphalon spatula - $179